Wow! I can't believe it has been a year since Adam and I decided to part ways. Everything was supposed to be so different. I often think how different my life would be had things worked out. Would I be a married homeowner? Or would I still be a naive girl in a futureless relationship?
I promised myself that I would feel better in a year, that my heart would be whole again. Why does it still feel as broken as it was a year ago? Why does it still hurt so much? Why does the idea of Texas Roadhouse or the Salt Lake Bees still make my heartbeat palpable through my chest wall.
I feel that the significance of the post lies much deeper than what meets the eye. The notion that I can speak about what happened and admit to the betrayal I feel inside makes me believe that maybe I am doing better than I think. Maybe I have healed. Maybe I will always be completely devastated by the end of what I truly believed was my relationship destiny. Maybe one day I will be able to look back on the last 3 years and not feel anything at all. Maybe, one day all of this will make sense. Unfortunately, that day is not today.
I PROMISE it will get better. Something {or someone} will come along and help pass the time. You're hurt will never be gone, but it will fade and you'll be stronger for it! You are an amazing, strong women who deserves the BEST!
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